My secret life

So I figured it was time to come clean with my other secret life. I know, you are all disappointed to hear this. I have been such a pillar in the community thus far and now I will forever ruin a possibly glorious future. So here it is:

I live with Todd and we are not married. (Pause) Now I am waiting for the sky to open up and the fury of God the almighty to punish me for all that I have done wrong. (Waiting.... Waiting.....) Well apparently God is not as angry as he was in the old testament.

So the reason for me telling you about my secret life is that it recently became an issue with my school. For seven months Todd has been living with me. He has got a visa and works for Nova (a private English school). Since it didn't say anything in my contract about other people living with me I assumed it was fine if I spent the second year of JET living with my boyfriend. After seven months the school finally piped up and decided to tell me that he is not allowed to live with me. They said it was for insurance purposes and the fact that single women are not allowed to live with men, it give the students a bad impression.

This is how my Tuesday unfolded. I came to work and taught two classes that were mostly successful. The students have exams coming up so we just reviewed for the tests. Then my supervisor came to my desk after lunch. I should be more wary when she initiates conversations at my desk but of course I was happy to talk with her. Then she informed me that Todd is not allowed to live with me. (Fair enough if that is the rule). But since I have only five months left in Japan the school will talk to the Land Lord and if it is cool with her, then we could stay until we leave. Five minutes after she leaves my desk Will calls. He informs me that my vice principal called his boss asking for advice about this "situation". Will and I talked about my position and what were my options for a while. Then my supervisor returned. This time she took a chair and sat with me to talk. She explained that unless the Land Lord was OK with Todd staying he would have to move out. She also took full responsibility for never giving me the housing agreement, for it not being in English so I can read it, and for not telling me that Todd was prohibited from living with me in the first place. She is wonderful. She didn't even seem to be too worried, which made me feel a lot better. Now we just sit and wait for the Land Lord to make a decision.

You may be wondering how this all started after seven months. Apparently one of the JTEs that I am not fond of asked the vice principal yesterday whether it was alright if a man lived with the ALT. So then the vice principal was required to investigate the matter. I am completely pissed it was one of my JTEs but not surprised it was this JTE. While we work well together it appears that everyone dislikes him and the students hate him. The students have often talked to me about him and even in broken English they came across crystal clear about their feelings for him. While that is a trifling matter, it does make me feel better. But this is a obvious case of don't ask, don't tell. Everyone knew Todd was living with me, we didn't hide the fact because we didn't think it was wrong. So everyone just chose not to talk about it, in a very Japanese style, and therefore it did not exist. Once someone breathed a word of it, it suddenly became real. They are completely non-confrontational so no one came to me right away to work on the problem. Instead they called around and told everyone in the school besides me. Did I mention that I am terribly excited to get the hell out of Japan!?!

Don't worry though, we have options.
#1: The first one and probably the easiest is to tell them that Todd and I are engaged. While I don't know how telling them we are engaged is going to help the insurance issue of this ordeal, it will let Todd live out our last 5 months together without being harassed. The school will know it is a lie, we will know it is a lie, and you know it is a lie. But if no one actually says or asks if it is a lie, then it doesn't exist. (I am getting good at this Japanese stuff).
#2: The other option is to tell them that Todd will move out and it will take him five months to find an apartment, which is not as crazy as it seems. This is Japan, doing things like finding housing can take a very long time because it has to be a formal procedure (lots of bowing and meaningless phrases to utter before you can move in).
#3:An easy option is for me to lie and say that Todd has moved out and is just visiting from time to time. Unless they stop by my house at 11pm every night to see who is sleeping in my bed, they won't be able to stop him from being there.
#4: And the last option is for us both to actually move out. This might be the one I like the most but it is the most impractical. First, the Land Lord is not going to find another person soon to move into the house, so she will be out 5 months of rent. There is not a new ALT coming so her contract with be stopped with the school. And if I did get an apartment, it would be in Matsue. This means I would have to commute but most of the teachers here do anyway and I could live in a city where the grocery stores stay open after 8pm. This will be hell though, moving, packing, finding a place, paying rent, blah blah blah!

After being a bit scared yesterday, then embarrassed, then angry, I am finally calm. This whole deal is out of my hands. All I can do is sit and wait. I would like to say that the next morning, at morning meeting where all the teachers gather to hear announcements, the vice principal asked if there were any boyfriend questions. What questions would any of the other teachers have about my boyfriend? Do they want to know that I am in a healthy, safe, monogamous relationship? And instead of sleeping with random people at parties, sexually harassing young men/women, going to snack bars to hold hands with women illegally brought here for the sex trade, or have a revolving door of sexual partners, I have decided to live with my boyfriend. I can see why they are upset!

I know this is Japan and they are ass backwards with anything involving women but I am going to say this anyway. Why is it necessary for my place of employment to police my personal life? Why is it acceptable to announce my personal life to my co-workers in a meeting? Does it hurt anyone if I live with a man? Do you feel bad? Is my vice principal laying awake at night worrying about what I am doing to myself? This recent incident solidifies the fact that I will never marry. I don't need my life validated by marriage. Am I less of a person because I am unwed? I hate the way Japan treats women. I am an equal in society, whether that is Japanese society or American society. I can't wait to tell Japan where they can stick it come July.